Ik aadat si ho gayi thi. Wishing each other a good day and enquiring about each others’ meals to discussing weekend plans and arguing late into the nights. We had arrived at this level of camaraderie after much trial and error, heartburn and trauma (his word). Long bouts of silences punctuated with colorful language were also very characteristic of us. Silence was his weapon, words were mine. Some days we switched places.
But for all that time spent together, the goodbye was a big letdown. It came sooner than I expected but was more overwhelming than I thought it would be. It was almost as if someone had ripped my heart out. No, I wasn’t head over heels in love with him. It was a wonderful friendship, one that I wasn’t prepared to lose. But he sought more. More than what I was prepared to give to our relationship. I was content. He saw it as a means to an end.
It wasn’t as painful disassociating myself from him as it was moving on. It didn’t hurt that he left. It hurts that he left surreptitiously.