To wait or not to wait

@Harishk asks:

How many of you have compromised on your expectations that you had set before you got married? Ever wondered why? Were the expectations realistic?

In the course of a conversation with a friend yesterday, she lamented how women seem to want to wait forever a certain Mr. Right. Waiting makes some sense and this is how it probably should be. You cannot and should not spend the rest of your life with the wrong person. However, the question remains “In the quest for perfection, are you missing out on the gems who could become the perfect diamonds with a wee bit of polishing?”

I respond:

While some of my friends would agree that waiting for a certain Mr. Right is worth the while, I’m not really sure how it works. Is there a mental and/or approximate timeline as to how long one waits for and then readily accepts anyone that comes along beyond that deadline? Or does one wait indefinitely? Can we be as clinical and removed about it? The answers don’t come easy. But I know intuition does. Instincts do.

Most of my gal pals will agree that their intuition and instincts haven’t let them down. I have also been informed, or advised if you will, that at some point we will meet individuals whom we can bond with, for the rest of our lives. There will be that feeling of “Yes, I could possibly spend my entire life with this man. He is smart, he makes me laugh. Also cooks decently.” That I have been told is affirmation enough. And polished, unpolished, gem, no-gem; all these thoughts will fly out of the window.

You might call it waiting. I call it leading life nonchalantly. Yes, I often stay up nights, pondering over the how and when and the finer points of it all. But I also know that when things have to fall in place, they just will. Your expectations (realistic or unrealistic) can only take you so far. The rest you’ve got to leave to the master plan of the universe.

Back to @Harishk:

I also often stay up nights thinking about these things. But I always fall asleep with the thought that tomorrow is a brand new day. Let us see what the master plan of the universe has in store for me. 🙂



  1. Harish aka Harry

    As I have said always, I love the way you express your thoughts. Thank you for this. 🙂

  2. Rehab

    Of course you should go for Mister Good Enough. But not with lofty ideals and a pre-defined framework in mind. I always look at marriage as a team. There are boring things, there are fun things and there is the thought of coming home to one person for the rest of your life.
    Actually no amount of reading/discussing prepares you for the decision.

    • crimsonshadows

      I like how you put it, Rehab. My favorite line: “There are boring things, there are fun things and there is the thought of coming home to one person for the rest of your life.”

  3. Pingback: My Soul Waits | Kevin Nunez

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